Baraka

Have you ever felt this? That out of the blue, the world and all living moments within it stop in front of your eyes? Have you? What did you do toward that goddamn moment? That goddamn feeling? I'm wondering these days. Actually I care too much and it's bad and I know it, but I can't resist cuz it persists! Days come without any discipline and go. I think I got this disease after watching that goddamn documentary. Oh god, I'm dog-tired. What am I doing? What happen to my picture-perfect life? Now the only thing that I can attach myself to is the feeling of the beginning of a happening…now, I don't know where I am! Do I see things in the time of their happening or in the time of expecting them to happen? But I get the point, you know… no matter how hard I try to ignore it…no matter how hard I try to close my eyes to it…but it's real…that is to say we, the human beings, try hopelessly to link ourselves to the past or to the future, but you see, we just making a cocoon cuz we're weak to see and grasp the present time.
The only thing that I must do is to pretend that everything is all right. I know I can do it; I know cuz I'm doing it throughout these years; pretending.
It's easy.




*the name of this silly entry is the name of that spectacular documentary which speaks to my mind and soul. Don't think that your experience of watching that is the same that I had! Its effect is somehow like the effect of the film About Elli. Trust me! I question those who watched it!