Life goes on...

There was a little jazz in the café…it was a cold evening for such a vernal day. The old bartender had a smile behind his lush yellow mustache while he was speaking with a gentleman in black. Life was a little bit slower there than outside; just like the music. It seemed that place and its moments were in another galaxy, millions light years far away from the earth. It was a cozy café with dim beams of red and yellow lights. Inside of café was a great view of the jetty with its all sleepy seabirds and blooming young couples and smiley kites in the hands of the noisy kids. It Seemed moments were gone with the steering winds above the jetty. The sun was setting behind the sea. The young man, setting mellow in front of the worn table, was looking at the rest of the faint rays of the sun. Life was going on, but not for him. He was wondering what it is all about. He couldn't figure out the pace of the life…so brutal. Once he had joyful moments. Once he had a fruitful life. Now he was there, young, disabled from an accident, free and hopeless. He was thinking how many lives we live. His soul was swaying with the jazz. His heart was doleful. His mind was thinking what's come next. He tasted his café au lait and he liked its taste. He also liked the jazz in the air. It seemed the melody came from the unfathomable universe and he just could hear them in the time of their existence in the café and then, they went to a kind of nonentity, again. Was it destiny? Was it the hand of fate? Was it written? Is there God?
He was dog-tired from his life. His soul was suffered. His friends abandoned him. So did his wife. Days were nonsense. He was there but actually he was living in his memories. He was dog-tired. There were few people in the café. Most of them unleashed their spirits in the air with the music, exchanging their silent moments with the doleful jazz. Their faces were full of ordinary. Few of them were smoking cigarettes and making some dancing lines of smokes in the café. The young man was empty. His soul was light. He couldn't take it anymore. He got used to his previous style life. That accident got many thing from him; his health, his job, his family, his social status, the meaning of his life and eventually his hope. After the accident he tried to get used to his new life style and it was because of his hedonistic personality. He was thinking that life has no meaning at all. He was thinking that with his death nothing gonna change in this world. He decided to hang himself that night. There was beautiful and surpassing evening and the young man was happy because he likes the beautiful evenings. He looked at every body in café…he looked at their faces. He couldn't fine any thing. He thought that the life had no meaning indeed. Maybe the only thing that had meaning was that music, flowing in the air. Young man moved his wheelchair toward the exit door because it was the time to go. Nobody saw him again after that joyful night.


Still there was a little jazz in the café…

In Importance of a Donkey!

In many cultures, each year has an animal name; like in china. And also, in many cultures, some animals are the symbols of some behaviors. I'm talking about the features of that specific animal. With some factors, people are related to a particular animal, because of their characteristic; For instance some people are wolves for many reasons! (You know what I mean!) And some people are foxes because there are tricks not only in their communication with the others, but also even in their greetings! But these days we have a shortage of donkeys!
Donkeys are clear; they can't dissimulate anybody. Their reactions are predictable and even in case they mess around; it's because of their stupidity!
When you face a donkey, there isn't any mask on his face. He opens up his soul to you and you know his feelings are all true.
But in our society it's not profitable to be a donkey any longer. You have to conceal many things and put on an act! You always play. Even, sometimes, you fool yourself too!

Let's understand persons without masks on their faces.
Let's understand donkeys!

Beyond the Mortality...

The jetty is full of some sorts of sublime silence. Underneath the skirt of the benevolent sky with its twinkling stars, there is a remote bench, in front of the boundless width of the wavy sea which has lots of tale to tell, lots of moments which last for ever. Yes, among the moments, there are some which last until the end of the world and it's in their destiny. It's written; Moments which people are proud of them, Moments which are their meanings of living through years.


Once there was a young couple, full of remarkable happiness, filling the vacant space of the very bench. That was somehow like a surreal vista which it could be regarded as a watercolor. Everything was so mellow, so steady. The sun's rays were caressing their faces with its exquisite heat. The seabirds were flying effortlessly above the face of the calm sea. In the horizon, there were some movable spots, probably belonging to stray bouts. Still their existences were linking to their bygone past and unknowing future. There was the tendency in their hearts to enjoy their passing precious moments but it wasn't an easy thing to achieve. More they try, further they move from present time. Time went by so fast and still they were struggling to overcome the curse of being in the obligatory ropes of future and past. It started to drizzle. In the sky was a spectacular frame of the real beauty; the sun was about to hide its reddish face beyond the unfathomable sea, the clouds were rolling in by the powerful hands of the stirring winds and just in one spot of the sky, everything seemed so normal and obscure which it came to the mind that heavenly angels were watching them, with smiles in their faces. Within the passing moments, there was just that moment they became one. The very moment that their souls were unleashed in that picturesque tableau as if they were ascending to the level of immortality. And in that moment of unanimity, they made their existences and essences last in perpetuity, from there to eternity. They both heaved a sigh of relief when it happened. When it happened that they felt free from mundane attachments; like two free birds. They flew beyond the sea where there is a fairyland for free people. At that moment onwards their existences had the very meaning that they were seeking for, through years and years.

It's probably such a long time from their death. But still bench is there; so are moments. Bench is there because still there are moments waiting to be inscribed in the magical book of eternity.

Time passes so fast, but the young couple's memory will last forever…

Still...

I'm still waiting. Waiting like Forest Gump in the bench of the bus station. The buses come. They stop. They honk and go. People come, set, speak and go. They speak, we speak, you speak, we laugh, we cry, I cry, they cry. They take a bus and go. I stand up, follow the bus a little, and then I remember that I have an important thing to do. I'm waiting. Waiting for a miracle to come and can't find me in the bench of the bus station.


I'm still waiting. It shouldn't remain like this. It shouldn't be spent this way. There should be a change. It must find its way among these too many earthen ways, among these too many correct and wrong tableaus, among these too many colorful buses. That happening, that miracle must come, must comes and changes things, me and my life. You see? Change no; exchange. miracle exchanges, converts. It converts rods to dragons and seas to deserts. I don't want any helps. I don't want any prescriptions and plans. I want that miracle. What if god sent a boat for Moses instead of that miracle? Of course I'm not Moses, and there is no pharaoh's corps behind me. But my problem can be solved just by that miracle.


I… I'm unsatisfied. A complainant. I complain. I nag. I want more, like Oliver Twist, I'm not satisfied with a single scoop of that watery soup. I'm different. I'm different even from Oliver Twist. I want more, I want the miracle. I look at the horizon and I can't see the truck; I'm looking for the truth and I can't hear its honks. The truck passes on me and I'm thinking what a density has this red hot fluid and how properly I can fill the blanks of the street. It shouldn't remain this way. It must change. And I'm ready, ready to…ready for…I'm ready to wait for it in perpetuity.


I look at my palms. I can see myself through those bold lines. I'm still waiting, old and dodderer, on that very bench, on that very station; still waiting. I look at my watch now and then. (There are no hands in my watch; it shows just dates.) It's a long time that no bus stops in the station. It's a long time that no one sets in the station. It's such a long time that the only thing which is remaining is my bench in the station. I look at the horizon and I'm sure…I'm sure that she will come someday.

Father

Son: what is history?
Grandfather: all the things which happened in the past is history.
Son: yesterday that we went to the zoo was history?
Grandfather: no, because it wasn't important.
Son: is my father's date of death history?
Grandfather: no.
Son: but he was important to me.

Baraka

Have you ever felt this? That out of the blue, the world and all living moments within it stop in front of your eyes? Have you? What did you do toward that goddamn moment? That goddamn feeling? I'm wondering these days. Actually I care too much and it's bad and I know it, but I can't resist cuz it persists! Days come without any discipline and go. I think I got this disease after watching that goddamn documentary. Oh god, I'm dog-tired. What am I doing? What happen to my picture-perfect life? Now the only thing that I can attach myself to is the feeling of the beginning of a happening…now, I don't know where I am! Do I see things in the time of their happening or in the time of expecting them to happen? But I get the point, you know… no matter how hard I try to ignore it…no matter how hard I try to close my eyes to it…but it's real…that is to say we, the human beings, try hopelessly to link ourselves to the past or to the future, but you see, we just making a cocoon cuz we're weak to see and grasp the present time.
The only thing that I must do is to pretend that everything is all right. I know I can do it; I know cuz I'm doing it throughout these years; pretending.
It's easy.




*the name of this silly entry is the name of that spectacular documentary which speaks to my mind and soul. Don't think that your experience of watching that is the same that I had! Its effect is somehow like the effect of the film About Elli. Trust me! I question those who watched it!

King of the Squares!

I wanna talk about a square in this entry…it means a lot to me, I mean that square. Let's dub it the king of all the squares in the world; in the case you scratch beneath the surface! Sadeghiyeh Square( mostly it is called a traffic circle but I prefer call it a square); somewhere that you can feel the flow of the life…its paces, its beats, wow… fast and furious, stillness and quietness, colorful lights in the blueberry nights, modern and state of the art…pretty angels and Gashte Ershads! (these days they are gone because of the election time) luxuries and trifle stuffs, Pahlevoon Mamad and his obvious lies, moving buses and crazy traffic lights, rare vendors and junk malls, …wow…its sunny days and rainy nights…hot afternoons with carrot-ice cream( hamoon havij-bastanie khodemoon!) in the summertime, summer-love, happiness and shining sun; hot chocolate in the frizzing evenings in the wintertime, winter-break up, tears and rain…see?…inspiring, motivating and stimulating…wow, lovers and broken-hearted people, together, they are waiting for the bus; what a paradox!…I can feel it there…underneath its stars; among the crowds, in the malls, behind the hedges, in front of the Esteghlal Park, next to its pool; in my heart.
I'm telling ya… Sadeghiyeh has supreme rank among the others squares; San'at Square? Ferdosi? Vanak? Hasan Abaad? Tupkhune( Emam Khomeyni)? Argentine? Felestine? Emam Hossein? Khorasan? Shush? Ghiam? Gomrok? Mohseni? Valiasr? Ghods? Haft Hoz? Emamat? Jomhuri? Sarv? Kaj? Pastor? Enghel( hamun Enghelab!)? Olympic? Otrish? Shahid Mahalati? (The followings squares do not exist anymore: Noor? Tohid? Sabze Meydune?)…EVEN AZADI!!! See? I said EVEN AZADI with all its beauty and magnificence…they are nothing in comparison with Sadeghiyeh…they are nothing except routine lives, so let them rest! But the life that is flowing in Sadeghiyeh is extraordinary...a warts and all biography…it can breathe just like you, and it can seduce you as well. Take it for granted!

I can't imagine the Tehran City without the Sadeghiye Square…that's all!



Hope to see you there :D

Yesterday Afternoon's so-called Philosophical Despair!!!

I can't recall the exact time, but I'm sure it was afternoon and I was in DIN O ZENDEGI class. I can't recall whether I laughed or not, but, at least, I'm sure there was a smile on my face when I heard a sentence like this:" all the pleasures in this world are momentary, temporary and so forth and so on…
Now, after the passing of the years from those black and white frames, when I think deeply about that sentence, still I don't know the proper answer toward that and suddenly I see myself in that black and white frame, with my friends-probably laughing!
Excuse me-please read it with Morteza Azimi's accent! - I must say it in Persian: dige hichi hal be adam nemide! As simple as that Farsi sentence. But don't think that I'm thinking about suicide or something, not at all. Now I'm feeling suspense; As if I am a bubble or something and suddenly BOOM! However, maybe it's your pleasure time or even recalcitrant time! when you are flicking through this new post, I don't know…maybe you are in park, waiting for your girlfriend to come, so if you read these sentences, you will burst into laughter. Maybe you are shaving your face and now you are thinking about a cold lemonade juice and just that, nothing else…listen baby….your girlfriend will come and after that sweet meeting, bet your bottom dollar that you are alone again with an empty wallet( I think just Agha Motreza can escape from this dreadful and painful part of life)! Don't forget your face; you must shave it again dude!
Now what? Which dissertation? Grasping THE MOMENT in the moments or planning and sketching for our following days and nights…


I just don't know!

Kingdom of the Sun

If you look up the term kamikaze in your dictionary you'll find a definition like this: "used to describe someone who is willing to take risks, without caring about their safety."


Churchill sent a letter to Roosevelt, the president of the states, with this purport that the Allies had enough encumbers in the heart of Europe and they couldn't take measures about this new hellish might . USA had to face it before they lost every thing. USA had to fight with Japan.

American Army general, Douglas Macarthur, started to attack Japan, but Japan responded to the actions in the Pearl Harbor and annihilated all American naval forces in the Pacific Ocean. But in the Midway Battle, American bombers bombarded Japanese's great armada; on the other hand Britain put a stop to Japanese's advance. Japan was in the center of a war of attrition just like Germany.
A Japanese fleet admiral, Takishiro Onishi, after a short training course, decided to do something quite peculiar i.e. he said goodbye to his coworkers, boarded his fighter with 200 kilo explosives and vanished forever…at first American generals considered the attacks and encounters as a stroke of luck…but there was a blizzard on the way of Americans…
In 1944, when American navies were involved in the greatest maritime war ever, they faced bunches of Japanese fight. From every branch maybe one of the fighters could approach the American navies in per attack; however, the very one fighter was enough to sink a navy into the deep blue. Just in the Okinawa battle, in 1945, 2000 Japanese pilots pierced 300 American battleships; Japan just owned 64 battleships that time. The pilots those were famous as Kamikazes were the only reason of Japan's standing against the allies.
General Macarthur sent a latter to Truman, the new president, and explained the Japanese's motivation." In the case that you wanna win this war, you have two ways to react: first you must accept the death of one million of American troops and second…you need a miracle!"
Truman ended this war with Fat Man and Little Boy.

American naval forces didn't show any pictures and documentaries of Kamikazes' missions for many years. Images show that most of the Japanese pilots were about 17 to 22 years old and most of them were all educated students. There were some statements in the frameworks of their fighters like this: "I like my life but my country is more important than my life."

Kamikaze means wind of god in Japanese. It has been said that when Mongolian wanted to attack Japan, there was a blizzard that stopped them. Japanese called that blizzard kamikaze.

Fatigue

Centuries must come and go
Seas must be vacant and full over and over
Springs must become long and short
And even the people of world change for several times…
In order that a stone becomes a fossil

Hey…

Don't be deceived with the stones
Don't be deceived by their happiness

fatigue is the only thing that is needed for your fossilization…

Sudoku!

I think the secret of our civilization's survival is in the answer of this little question. I did my best but unfortunately I couldn't draw a logical conclusion. So I leave this vital question to you.

Thank you beforehand and good luck!



A cab driver is driving in an expressway. When he is approaching a police man, he just lays the seatbelt on his trousers- he doesn't fasten it. Now and at this moment he can fasten it with a simple movement in order to save his life just in case that there will be an accident. (Considering his speed, it's very possible). Furthermore, the seatbelt isn't a nuisance and after a few seconds the driver gets used to it. All in all, he is the one who mainly shoulder the responsibility.


In spite of these facts, why this ……. Driver doesn't fasten the ……. seatbelt for the thousandth time?

For god's sake tell me, at that historical moment, what is he thinking about?!

Dialogue

Nobody writes scenario for life; by reason of all long afternoons of vanity, all elastic yawns of ennui, all infirm steps of quandary, and all shaking legs of prospect's anxiety and all numb hands which are beneath the chins. Life is a noble documentary; nobler than those documentaries which are tolerable by the divine blessings, named cinema and music and editing. However, in vacant moments of life, we can do something like listen to music and talk with somebody, but they are not included; we just improvise!


Sometimes you can smell the scent of the cinema in the air. Sometimes special effects mutate to some inescapable vistas; like when an airplane strike to a skyscraper just on front of your eyes, like when there is a eclipse in above of your head, like when the sky paint itself at twilights with orange clouds just like a watercolor tableau, like the very night that Real Madrid had a match with Barcelona. But still they are not included!


Sometimes you can smell the scent of the directing. Sometimes the details of our life's frames are so familiar to us that we are expecting to hear a "CUT"! Like a special book that you were looking for it for ages and suddenly it winks at you among the ordinary stuffs of an ordinary peddler, like when you are disappointed and somebody touch your shoulder with an extra ticket in her hand, like when somebody stole your briefcase with all important document on it, like when you feel a profound desolation in yourself and out of the blue, the taxi's radio or the café's player, play your favorite song.


You feel it; you feel that your face's skin becomes warm because of the projectors. You feel that this scene belongs to you…

But you don't know the dialogues!

Moments

It's raining. more than a day or two. Afternoons, midnights and dawns. It seems that it rains whenever it loves. And I can't do anything in rainy days; for instance, I can't watch TV, read my books and even complete my aphorisms that I have in my upper storey about this ……. life. I just go near the window, put my hand beneath the drops; then put on my clothes and head toward the street. I look up into the sky to wet my face, to drench my self to the skin, but still I'm not satisfied. I'm still anxious.
I should do something more important than walking, watching and getting wet.
This gift is different from so many craps that you watch and hear day and night. It's somehow invaluable present and I'm just looking at it!
I gotta do something.
And when I'm looking hastily for a way to enjoy it more and better, the rain stops and the sun comes out. Out of the blue, all the aphorisms and philosophical sentences about "How we can enjoy our moments" come to my mind. You know, I just ruined all my moments with this anxiety that what should I do- just like this.
I think it just a bloody craft that I will never learn it!
Now I'm thinking about my life; I'm thinking again and again.
Days turn to nights; weeks turn to months and…yes! Again it's raining.
I gotta do something!

These Days...

Recently I'm falling in love; I'm falling in love with umbrella; that is opened by a hand over someone else, in the middle of these days' driving rain in Karimkhan Street. The young gentleman who is the owner of the umbrella is wet through himself, but when he is looking at his lover's dry clothes, I can see a broad smile on his face. It seems that he had done the most unimportant thing for the most important creature in the face of the earth in his life. He perambulates under the tumult of the heavenly rain!

Recently I'm falling in love; I'm falling in love with hand; those manly hands that are moving and shifting in Valieasr Street. When the cars come from right, left hand does his duty properly and catches hold of woman's right hand; when they reach the middle of the street, it's time for the right hand to catch the left hand of the woman. There is a slim chance of danger and accident, but the hands tell us that the lover's position is still there even if there isn't any possibility of accident; just before cars, in order to protect his love.

Recently I'm falling in love; I'm falling in love with crash helmet; that very metallic orb which is told that can save the motorcyclist's life; the very crash helmet that our groom-neighbor has only an old one in the midst of the expenses of his new life. The very crash helmet which he used to wear it until a month ago. The very crash helmet which is worn by a young lady now. I don't know why he doesn't buy another one; but I know this very metallic orb is a symbol of their love at the moment!

Recently I'm falling in love; I'm falling in love with this sort of pure street love; what a flash of pleasure it is to see these docudramas and improvisations in these days.

Dead Man Walking

I couldn't sleep after that. I couldn't help thinking about it. Even now I can hear their voices and their laughs while we were playing with each other. It seems their faces drag on forever in my mind, in my soul. Their laughs make me weep now, and I hate it. It just needs a flick to be remembered. Just like the discussion we had in our speaking and listening class, about death sentence. As you may remember, almost all the boys agreed on death sentence. Some of us told why we agreed and I must say that all of them were true in my humble opinion. Execution is a part of our law, not only pf our country, but also of many other countries. Maybe it's fair, maybe not. It's easy to take one's life; as easy as ABC. Believe me! Now, here I am, with a story about the past. About some people who are just memories now.
About 2 years ago, in our high school, we chose handball as our major sport and we were trying hard to qualify for Tehran's championship. At last our team was qualified. They told us the host field is "The Rehabilitation Center for young offenders" which was located in Shahre Ziba district. We were told that the Rehabilitation Center had a team that always was the winner of the competition. We went there. a dismal, gray prison with high walls. But when we headed there we thought that it was a school or something because there were some gay children there, playing loudly. It was pretty strange for all of us. Then we went into the field. There was a bunch of young people waiting for us. They were all bald, and they had ungracious appearances in first glance (later on, I found them so sensitive). I felt something. There was something missing. Something in their eyes. I can't describe it. Maybe it was envy or regret. Afterwards I figured out why they were there. They had committed crimes and they had to be there, counting days, until they could celebrate their 18 year-old birthday. Until government could take some serious actions about them. For some of them it meant salvation, for some, not. Meysam was an addict. He didn't want to be; they (drug trafficker) made him a junkie because they didn't want their little carrier to leave and never come back again. Even drug traffickers know some lines of the book of the law by heart. They know that government doesn't execute children. Meysam told us that his father abandoned them. He was an addict too. Meysam had to quit school and work hard to make a living for his family. Drug smugglers are waiting for such cases. They abuse innocent children by making them do some perilous work. If the child is arrested, no need to worry! There is always a new one! And Meysam was one of the victims. Except two of them (Kanoon's children), they were all there because of carrying drugs.
Jaber was one of them who was sentenced to death. He killed his friend in a street fight accidentally. Don't mistake manslaughter with murder. But the Judge considered it as a willful killing. I don't want to discuss the judge's verdict. Jaber did something wrong and there must be a punishment for him. The victim's family wanted only one thing: Nemesis. Things are so complicated to me even now. I can't understand why they wanted Jaber to be executed. What about forgiveness and mercy? Jaber was young and…he didn't mean it. He didn't mean to kill his friend. It was all an accident. Maybe revenge is sweet for them. I spent most of my time with Jaber over there. He didn't deserve that sentence. To be executed. He had great wishes and he wanted to be a professional handball player. He had a great talent for it and I was sure he would be.
We won all of the matches except the final match that we lost over to Kanoon's team. They were always the winners. Jaber was the top scorer.
One day, about 1 year ago, one of my friends sent me an SMS; they executed Jaber. "It was such cold water on my head." I couldn't breathe for a few moments.
He is dead now.

Fracture

"Smart people don't break the law; they just bend it a little"

Fracture is the name of a movie that I watched in Noruz, and I must say it astonished me that how a simple problem can confuse you just when you underestimate it! (A moral lesson that I got from this movie); and it's exactly what this picture wants to show you!
Talking about screenplay, this movie has one of the best; in a way that gives you information step by step and gradually, and the last season of the movie is the inevitable reason of the rest of the movie, not something imaginary and mannered! Fracture isn't more than a thriller movie if you glance at it. A punctilious viewer can find lots of point in it. For instance you can't notice any sudden shocks in this motion picture that exist in a common thriller movie.
Villain of the film (starred by Anthony Hopkins; Welsh-British stage and movie actor, winner of the 1992 Academy Award for Best Leading Actor for his role in "Silence of the Lambs".) is slick and touchable. I can't imagine anybody else instead of Hopkins for this role. Because of Hopkins and his talents in picturing a unique character; we have Joker's effect too! (Joker's effect just happens in the batman series, but I use it as a way to describe a situation in a movie that the villain [antihero] is the center of attention.)
The story is about a murder by a rich Scientist named Ted (Hopkins).Ted killed her wife because he found out a relationship between her and an officer. Although Ted loves her wife, he can't ignore it, and eventually it led to his wife death. But a smart plan is the only thing that Ted has…. I think it's better to see the movie yourselves instead of reading my nonsense sentences!
At the end I suggest this movie for those who want to watch a perfect thriller with a perfect story and perfect characters!


Have a perfect time!


Movie's score:****

Rachel getting married

Or Kym and her loneliness

There are many movies in the history of Hollywood that make you feel sad and blue. In many of them they are stereotypical; they use some tricks in order to bring tears to viewers' eyes. Some of them are sturdy, some of them are not. But still there is another kind of doleful movies that follow their ways individually. This movie, Rachel getting married, belongs to that group.
Movie starts suddenly with Kym, our leading role, in the yard of a rehab and we understand that she was a drug addict. Also we can feel some sort of strong and independent personality in Kym. She was away from home in a rehab in the middle of nowhere so it's not strange that she is independence. Just a glance to way she smokes the cigarette can reveals this fact. For the director it's not important why Kym became addictive in adolescence, how she caused her brother's death and when she was sent to that rehab. It seems that you are reading a book but not from its beginning. In this movie it's not important when and where we are, because time is stopped for Kym. There is no progress in her life. We can see insanity and losing identity in her personality. She needs some answers, but the problem is she doesn't know what the questions are. Let's back to the story: Rachel, her older sister, getting married and it's the reason they (managers of the rehab) let her to stay with her family for a few days during the wedding ceremony. She notices that the others treat with her as if she is dangerous. We see all the things behind Kym's glasses, so we have her feelings toward her environment as well. Maybe when her father don't let her to drive a car, he just did it because he thought that it's not a good time for her to drive a car and maybe she would lose car's control and make a trouble. But Kym just feel that they ignore her, they don't trust her anymore, and they don't want her to stay with them. There are some special meetings that Kym must participate in them. They are about sharing the feeling of addictive people; some sort of opening up the souls and hearts. We find her so dependent, so lonely when she shares. Maybe she deserved a better life but it was all her fault and she saw a gradual desolation that ruined her life. She can't see any salvation when she talk with her mother and called herself a junkie and you can see it in her eyes. "I can live whit it, but I can forgive myself, and sometimes I don't wanna believe in god that could forgive me. But I do want to be sober. I'm alive and I'm present and there is nothing controlling me. If I hurt someone, I hurt someone. I can apologize and they can forgive me or not. But I can change". All a can see is Kym's depression. She's giving up but she doesn't want to admit it that it's a submission to what destiny is. There is no "the end" in this movie because every thing was finished long times ago.
I remember Anne Hathaway in " Devil wears prada " a good movie starring Meryl Streep about fashion companies and also in " Became Jane ".She was inexperience there but in no time she could make it happen and nominated for Oscar in this movie .although she lost the competition and Kate Winselt won but it can't lower her values in this role and I can see a bright future for her. She has a unique performance that shows her talents and skill in playing not with body physics but with face, eyes, and silence. Eyes are the windows that show the true feelings and Anne Hathaway can do it heart and soul.
The movie "Rachel getting married" has also a special form of directing, editing and a very unique cinematography that makes you feel that all of the scenes are recorded in a simple Handy Cam and maybe you feel that it's some kind of documentary!
Talking about the music, I saw in one scene that a person (probably Iranian) playing music with a Santoor! In general the original score of this movie is so blue and so sad; in a way that makes you feel loneliness.
At the end, I suggest this movie for those who want to watch a simple movie that is also well-built and remember two things:
1. Making a simple movie is not always simple especially when the movie is about someone's feeling.
2. Simple is beautiful!

Movie's score: ****